Incident report from security team at Cliff House Ranch – alpaca division


Special guest post from the security team. Transmission follows…

Mom and Dad report: at approximately 6 am, Tuesday March 6th, 2012 the naughty Cliff House Alpacas broke out of their paddock. At 7:15 am Dad spied the whole girls’ herd looking at him from the north side of the barn. After going for backup he headed straight across the riding arena to the waiting Alpaca gang, who had decided to stop misbehaving and to await his instructions. No Alpacas lost or hurt, but Mikalya, code-named “Saucy Minx” insisted on knowing why Dad was so anxious when asking them to return to their paddock.

The gang was spotted here, at the north side of the barn.

After Dad left for work, Mom conducted interviews of everyone at the ranch for clues concerning the break out. Questioning started with Alpacas in the girls paddock. “Saucy Minx” was asked: “What do you thing you were doing?” Her response; “I’m the ring leader, it’s what I do.”

*Sniff* I have no idea what the problem is here. I am the leader, I lead...everyone right out the gate.

Tulip, code-named “Benign” when questioned, broke down and cried; “It’s not my fault”. Marcello, code name “Wienie”, was unusually aloof and  simply stated, “I know how to follow orders.” Brittany, code name “Trouble”, was as usual, full of crazy, “I chewed us all out. What are you going to do about it? The chain on the gate was easy pickings.” Tripoli, “Trip” was hiding behind “Trouble” and said only “Mmmmmmm…”. Marseille, “Little Missy” asked for some time to compose her thoughts.

If we coulda broke out, we totally woulda. What, you think we are sissies or something? We are SO that brave.

As witnesses to the crime, the boys were also questioned. Tuscany and Morocco would only say; “If we coulda, we woulda.” Bravado primly stated; “I am sure I have talked to you about that gate being a weak point before.” When asked what he saw during the breakout, Merlin confided “At my age, I just want Mom and Dad to let me stay in.”

Heidi, the Paint horse, responded tartly, “When did I become the head of security?” Boogey, her paddock pal, asked, “What’s an Alpaca?” The Kitties, Zipporah and Whisper, both had “No Comment” on the incident. Squeaky, always matter of fact, wanted to know; “When’s lunch?”

No comment. Alpaca security is beyond our jurisdiction. Now, if it was mice...that'd be a different story.

Stay tuned for the drammatic conclusion! One witness has yet to give testimony…will she rat out her fellow herd mates? Will she stay silent and stoic? What all did the gang get up to?!

I have seen so much. It's too much for one little alpaca to bear...

About cliffhousealpacas

Once upon a time, my dad drove by some funny looking animals standing on little dirt hills in a field. Thus, the dream of an alpaca ranch was born. Now, we are embarking on a grand adventure of raising alpacas and becoming fiber artists.
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